


Elevator

by Kassandra_Black



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 09:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassandra_Black/pseuds/Kassandra_Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shenko fluff!  Joker decides to lend a helping hand...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Joker was bored.

They were in between missions, parked at some space station. Commander Shepard had given the crew shore leave while they stocked up on supplies and refueled.

Joker had filed away the last mission report, performed a full ship diagnostic – twice – and had even gone through all of the surveillance cameras. Not that there was anything good on the cameras. Everyone was out enjoying their shore leave.

Well, everyone except him. He always opted to stay on the _Normandy_. He only left his baby under dire circumstances – such as circumstances involving alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. He usually got Ashley to take him out (bribing her with some embarrassing recorded image of her or something), but he had come up blank this time and Ashley had gone off with the requisitions officer, weirdly enough.

Well, seeing as he was alone, he might as well browse through the extranet. There was a new site he had been wanting to visit and now was a good a time as any. No prying eyes, no Shepard watching over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't looking at stuff he wasn't supposed to. Who was she, his mom? He was free to enjoy the wonderful naked bodies of asari women as they – _what the hell was that?_

Slight movement on one of the camera images caught his eye, and he quickly straightened up. He brought up all the cameras on the lower level straining to see the movement again. He went through the images one by one. The area where the requisitions officer usually stood was empty. The guy was probably on his fifth drink by now, lucky bastard. The Mako area was deserted as well. Garrus and Tali had gone off together to God knows where. His eyes scanned the table where Ashley cleaned the guns, also clear. Lockers, clear. The wall where Wrex stood, clear. Wrex had gone off on his own, probably in search of a good fight. Joker continued to the next image – aha!

He should've known he wasn't the only one on board. Shepard had a habit of staying in during shore leave. This time she was down in the hangar opening up boxes of supplies and equipment. No wonder he hadn't seen her. She was hidden behind one of the big crates. _She's going to be there for a while_ , he thought, grinning to himself.

Well, as long as he kept an eye on her and made sure she stayed down in the hangar, he would be able to watch whatever he wanted in full screen. Oh yeah, he was sooo looking forward to seeing those blue bodies press against each other and – _what the…someone else is on board?_

No. Freakin'. Way. It hadn't even crossed Joker's mind to check the med bay cameras. Kaidan was making his way out through the med bay door.

Joker rubbed his hands together as a plan began to form in his devious mind. This was too good to be true. Shepard and Kaidan had been making lovey dovey eyes at each other ever since they met. The whole _Normandy_ crew knew that they were madly in love. Too bad Shepard and Kaidan were too stubborn to realize it themselves. There was even a betting pool going around to see who would fold first and finally admit the attraction and when.

Faint footsteps shook Joker from his thoughts. He quickly took down the camera images and turned his chair around. Kaidan was walking up to him.

"Don't you ever get out of that chair?" Kaidan asked, getting closer.

"No need to," Joker said with a grin. "Going out?"

"Just hungry. Anything on that station will be better than the military rations here." Kaidan's eyes turned suspicious. "Why?"

Joker shrugged casually as he turned back to his screen pretending to run another diagnostic test. "I was just surprised to see that me, you and Shepard are the only ones on board."

"Shepard's here?"

 _Cha-ching_. Joker maintained a straight face as he turned back to Kaidan. "Yeah. Down in the cargo hold. Been down there for a while, she's probably starving."

Kaidan's face turned thoughtful, and his brow creased. "She's down there…alone?"

"Yeah. You know Shepard. Always preparing for the next mission. Never taking time for herself. Probably hasn't taken a break in hours." Joker gave an exaggerated sigh. "I would go help her but, you know, crutches."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow as a sign of skepticism, but Joker knew he had already taken the bait.

"I'll go see if she needs anything," Kaidan finally said walking away from Joker.

Joker chuckled to himself. That was too easy. "You go do that, big guy."

He waited until he couldn't hear the footsteps anymore, looked over his shoulder to make sure Kaidan had actually gone and then set to work. Fingers flew over the controls in front of him. Shepard and Kaidan needed a push in the right direction, and Joker was going to help them. He was their friend, after all. Not to mention his day in the betting pool was coming up.

He gave another chuckle as he brought the cameras back up. This was going to be the easiest money he ever won. And he was going to have some fun doing it.

 

________________________________________

 

Shepard sat back on her haunches as she reviewed the datapad in her hands. She was finally on the last supply crate, thank God. She double checked the contents to make sure they had everything they ordered and punched in the last few numbers in the pad. Groaning, she moved to stand up and tossed the pad into the crate.

She had maintained the same position for at least twenty minutes, and her body was begging for a break. She rolled her head on her neck, then stretched her arms over her head and arched her back. God, that felt good. She turned when she heard the elevator and was surprised to see Lieutenant Alenko stepping out.

"What are you doing here? You should be out enjoying your shore leave," she said, now stretching from one side to the other.

He laughed softly. "I should be asking you the same thing. You should practice what you preach."

Shepard shrugged and finally brought her arms down. She pointed to the shipping crates. "Doing inventory. I wanted to make sure all our supplies were in before we headed off again. You?" she asked again. She was genuinely surprised to see that anyone else was on board. The crew had practically stampeded to the airlock as soon as she had mentioned shore leave.

"Migraine," he explained. "I was in med bay when you announced shore leave."

"Feeling better?"

"Much. And hungry. I was about to head out for something to eat." Suddenly he looked embarrassed. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the floor. "Are you hungry?"

Shepard's heart skipped a beat. "I – yeah. A little." Almost as if on cue, her stomach grumbled. "Or a lot," she said laughing as she placed a hand over her stomach. "What did you have in mind?"

Kaidan finally looked up at her. His warm eyes penetrated her soul. Deep brown eyes that she could stare at for hours and never get bored. Her heart fluttered inside her chest, and she could feel a blush creeping into her cheeks. _Tut, tut, tut. You should know better than to flirt with your subordinate, Shepard._ But he is so handsome! And that butt of his…grawr! She could also stare at that butt for hours and never get bored. Of course, she would prefer to see it without anything covering it. The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile as an image of Kaidan's butt flitted into her mind. She suddenly realized that she was staring at him with her head tilted to the side and her mouth slightly open. She quickly shook her head and tried to pay attention to what he was telling her.

"…but I hear they have great steaks. So, I'll leave it up to you."

Shepard frantically searched her mind for something to say. She had no idea what he had been talking about. "Uh…" _Dammit, Shepard, say something! He's going to think you're an idiot._ Her mind rapidly processed their previous conversation. Hunger. Invitation to eat with him. He was probably talking about restaurants. "Wherever you want is fine."

He gave her a shy grin that melted her heart. "Oh, okay. Well, I guess we can go to Coppia's. It's on the other side of the station, so at least we won't run into anybody," he said before his eyes filled with alarm. "N-Not that I don't want anyone to see us. It's not like we're hiding something. I mean, we both need to eat, right? There's no harm in going out to eat."

Shepard smiled up at him. "Of course not. Just two friends going out to eat," she agreed.

They moved toward the elevator, and Shepard pressed the button to go up. She usually hated the long elevator rides, but for some reason she didn't mind it so much this time.

She was about to lean back against the wall when suddenly the elevator car lurched violently. She lost her footing and fell to the floor. Kaidan had thrown out his arms to balance himself and managed to remain on his feet. Alarm and panic rushed into her body. The elevator gears groaned and grated in her ears as the car came to a complete stop. What the hell just happened? The elevator had never malfunctioned. She was about to pick herself up from the floor when the lights flickered feebly until they finally turned off.

Shepard and Kaidan were left alone in a pitch black broken elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

Joker snickered at the awkward way Kaidan had asked out Shepard. _About freakin' time, Alenko._

He reached down to the cubby hole filled with goodies that was next to his chair and pulled out a bag of potato chips. Nobody knew about his secret stash of junk food, and he preferred to keep it that way. He happily munched on some chips as he brought the image in front of him to full screen.

_"Coppia's is a nice bistro with the best lasagna. Star's Corner is a little hole in the wall place, but I hear they have great steaks. So, I'll leave it up to you."_

Joker choked back a laugh at the look on Shepard's face. She'd obviously not been paying attention. From the stupid grin that had been on her face, she had probably been thinking about Kaidan's butt. That was the look she always got whenever he caught her checking Kaidan out. Joker shook his head. What was it with the women on the ship and Kaidan's behind? You would think it had some sort of magic powers or something for all the females to be obsessing over it.

He turned his attention back to the screen just as Shepard and Kaidan made their way into the elevator. _He he he…it's show time!_

Joker placed the bag of chips on his lap, quickly wiped his hands on his pants and got to work. He switched to the camera on the elevator, waited for a dramatic second and pressed the huge red button in front of him.

"Woops," he practically giggled as he saw the looks of alarm on Shepard's and Kaidan's faces. The elevator screeched to a stop. He pressed another button, played with the lights a little and then finally shut them off. _This was so great! Everything was going according to –_

"What are you doing?"

Joker jumped a foot in the air, the bag of chips flying off his lap. He clutched a hand to his chest as he fought to control his racing heart.

"Shit, Williams, trying to give me a heart attack?"

Ashley narrowed her eyes at Joker. "What are you doing?" she asked again, crossing her arms over chest as her gaze moved to the screen in front of him.

"Oh this?" Joker waved his arms at the black screen. "It's nothing. Heh. Just running a diagnostic test."

Ashley moved to stand next to his chair, feet crunching on the fallen chips. "Are you watching porn again? Shepard is gonna – "

"What? No! I wasn't…it's not…" Joker looked around and saw that she was alone. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Don't try to change the subject! I saw something on that screen before it went black. You know how Shepard feels about – "

"Okay, okay, mom! Geez, if you _must_ know, I was looking at the surveillance cameras."

Ashley's eyes turned suspicious. "Why?"

Joker frowned. Why was everyone always suspicious of him?

"I'm the pilot, Ash, it's my job to…survey…things," he said, glancing back to the screen when he heard voices. Ashley seemed to have heard them too because her gaze immediately turned to the screen.

Ashley's eyes widened. "Is that…are you _spying_ on Shepard and LT?"

"Pfft, no!"

Ashley raised an eyebrow at him.

"A little," Joker conceded. "Now, shhh! Things are about to get good."

"Joker! You shouldn't – "

"Shhh!" Joker hissed. "Look, Ash, either stay or leave, but please shut up already." He reached in front of him to raise the volume.

Ashley made a move to leave when she noticed the chips on the floor. "Are those _real_ potato chips?"

Joker nodded absently, still focusing on the screen.

"Do you have any more?"

"Are you gonna shut up?"

Ashley nodded.

"Then take a seat," Joker said, reaching back into the cubby hole to pull out another bag of chips.

 

________________________________________

 

"What happened?" Kaidan asked and then realized how stupid the question was. _The elevator stopped, genius._

"I…I don't know," Shepard said. She remained on the floor trying to analyze the situation. Why had the elevator suddenly stopped working?

"Are you okay?" he asked, remembering the way she had fallen to the floor. It was dark, but he figured she was probably a couple of steps in front of him. He made a move to go to her.

At the same time, Shepard made a move to stand up. A solid object rammed into her nose causing her to tumble backward. The back of her head smacked sharply against the elevator wall.

"Son of a – "

"Jesus! Shep – Commander, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" Kaidan kneeling down to reach for her arm but instead grabbed something round and squishy. He could feel his face burning as he quickly pulled his hand back. "Oh, God, sorry…I didn't mean to – "

"Alenko, just be quiet for a minute," Shepard groaned. Kaidan feeling her up was the least of her worries. Her head felt like it had been split in two. She could already feel her nose swelling from where he had elbowed her. She reached up to feel a lump beginning to form on the back of her head. She swore she could see stars in front of her eyes.

Kaidan stayed where he was, kneeling in front of Shepard. He had meant to pick her up, but apparently had misjudged the distance. She groaned again, and he grew worried. He needed to see her face to make sure she was all right. If only there was a light he could use…of course! How could he be so stupid! A blue corona enveloped his arm and hand and a dim blue light filled the elevator. Shepard was leaning back against the wall cradling her head. He sat down in front of her and pulled her towards him.

"How bad is it?" she asked wincing against the light of his biotics. Her head was beginning to throb.

"Er…" Kaidan's eyes scanned her face. Her nose didn't look broken, but a bruise was beginning to form from her nose to under her eyes. He looked into her eyes and waved his lighted arm in front of her face. Her pupils constricted and dilated – a good sign. He got on his knees again to reach around the back of her head. His fingers ran through her hair (trying to ignore how silky and soft it felt) as he searched for the injury. No blood – another good sign – just a lump. "You might have a concussion so you'll have to see Dr. Chakwas as soon as we get out of here."

Shepard groaned, only this time it was out of annoyance. She loved the doc to death, but she hated having to go see her for something other than a nice chat. Kaidan sat back down in front of her.

"You're also going to have a pretty nasty bruise on your face," he said sheepishly.

Shepard frowned. Or at least she tried to. It hurt to make any kind of facial expression. She placed a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry about it, I've had worse," she told him, now trying to form a smile. She caught the cute grin forming at the corner of his mouth before she turned away to look around them. "Why do you think the elevator stopped?"

Kaidan stood up and walked to the control panel. "The circuits aren't fried," he said, taking off the panel door and peering inside. "It's just dead. There's no power at all."

"What do you mean no power?" she asked from the floor, not really trusting herself to stand up just yet. "Like on the entire ship or just here?"

Kaidan's brow creased. "I'm not sure. It's hard to tell…I can't really see anything, the light's too dim."

Well, shit. What were they supposed to do now? She didn't expect her crew for another 24 hours, and she doubted anyone would come back to the ship before then. She might as well try to look for some sort of emergency hatch. She stood up slowly and placed her hand on the wall to keep her balance. So far, so good. She looked up and saw Kaidan's eyes full of concern.

"I don't think you should be standing up…"

"I'm fine," she said taking a step forward. A wave of dizziness suddenly rolled through her head, and she felt her body pitch forward.

Kaidan caught her just in time. Her body slammed against his as he put his arms around her to keep her from falling.

"Thank you," she said looking up into his worried eyes. Her hands were on his chest, and she could feel his muscles flex beneath her fingertips.

A ripple of biotic energy flickered over his body. Having Shepard in his arms was making him lose control of his emotions. The feel of her body against his was doing crazy things to his heart…and other parts of his body. He took a step back from her but still kept his hands on her waist to steady her.

"You should sit down."

Shepard's dizziness had abated but was disappointed when Kaidan moved away. As much as she hated to admit it, she had loved the feel of his arms around her. It made her feel…safe. She gave him a slight nod, and he led her to the side where he sat down next to her. She leaned her head back against the wall and sighed.

"Give me a few minutes and then I'll help you look for a way out. There's got to be a hatch around here somewhere," she said looking at the ceiling of the elevator. So much time that she had spent on the damn elevator and she had never thought to look for an emergency hatch.

"No, you're going to sit here while _I_ look for a way out," Kaidan said going back to the control panel.

"Are you giving me an order, Lieutenant?"

"When a commanding officer is down, the second highest ranking officer takes charge. So, I'm taking charge and ordering you to sit."

Shepard snorted. "That's not fair! We're the only two people on board right now. You can't just – "

Kaidan snapped his head back to her. "We're not the only ones on board." How could he have forgotten they weren't the only ones on the ship? He blamed it on the elevator…and Shepard. His mind had been so preoccupied with taking her out and then the elevator broke down…

Shepard looked up at him, confused. "What?"

Kaidan smiled. "Joker's on board too."


	3. Chapter 3

_Shit._ Joker had wondered how long it would take for them to realize that he was still on board. He could easily pretend that he had just left the ship. Then again, he felt that he needed to offer some sort of explanation as to why the elevator had malfunctioned before Shepard assumed the worst. He didn't want her thinking that bad guys had taken over the ship while everyone was out on shore leave.

_"Joker, can you hear me?"_ Kaidan's voice asked through the comm.

"Yeah, Kaidan, what's up?" Joker decided to feign innocence.

_"Thank God!"_ Shepard's voice came through. _"Joker, we need a status report. What the hell happened?"_

Joker winced. She sounded pissed. Ashley shot him a you're-gonna-get-it-now look as she raised her eyebrows at him. Someone behind him snickered, and he turned to glare at Garrus. A small group of people had now gathered around him after Ashley had blabbed to each of them that he was spying on Shepard and Kaidan.

"The, uh…fuel hose ruptured one of the main, uh, circuit boards as it was being pulled out," Joker lied. "We lost power on the bottom deck." Someone snorted back a laugh. Yeah, it wasn't believable even to him, but it was the best he could come up with.

_"Why didn't you tell me? Kai – Alenko and I are stuck in the elevator."_

You don't say? "Sorry, Commander, I had no idea," Joker fought to control the laughter that was building up in his throat. "We have station crews on their way to give us a hand, but you're probably gonna be in there for a good hour or two."

_"Well, shit, Joker. What are we supposed to do in the mean time?"_

Nasty thoughts ran through Joker's mind and from the stifled laughs behind him he wasn't the only one thinking that. A glance at the screen gave him a dim glimpse of Kaidan and Shepard sitting on the elevator floor. Kaidan's biotic energy was the only thing that was illuminating them.

"Just sit tight, Commander. I'll send you an update once we make some headway on those circuit boards."

Shepard groaned, and from the looks of it, she was starting to get a little restless. Joker didn't even want to think what Shepard would do to him if she found out he was the one that rigged the elevator.

_"I'll wait fifteen minutes. Then we're going to look for a way out."_ Her comm clicked off and Joker muted Shepard's and Kaidan's channels.

"Twenty credits she won't last five minutes before she starts banging on the walls," Wrex grunted pulling up next to Joker's chair.

"Forty she'll wait the fifteen," Dr. Chakwas added, to Joker's surprise. "What? I need a new bottle of brandy."

Joker chuckled before turning around to the crowd behind him. "Any other takers?"

And the bets began.

 

________________________________________

 

"How are you feeling?" Kaidan asked, still feeling guilty as he looked over at Shepard. The bruise under her eyes was beginning to look more pronounced.

"I'm fine," Shepard lied to ease Kaidan's guilt. In reality, her head was still throbbing, and it felt like all the bones in her face were broken. Not to mention it was starting to feel really hot in the elevator. The environmental systems had probably shut down with the power. Kaidan raised an eyebrow at her. Damn. He was always good at reading her emotions. "Okay, my head feels like I just headbutted a krogan, but I'll live. Really."

Kaidan nodded, content at her answer. "So, I guess we're stuck here for a couple of hours, huh?"

"Not if I can help it." While she secretly enjoyed the fact that she was stuck with Kaidan in the elevator, she had really been looking forward to going out with him. And nothing was going to stop them from going out. Not even a broken down elevator. She removed her shirt, leaving only the tank top underneath and then turned to him. "Carry me?"

Kaidan had been too preoccupied after Shepard had removed her shirt that he didn't catch the last thing that she said. Even in the dim light, he could make out her perfect skin and wondered if it was as soft as he always imagined it. "Uh…excuse me…ma'am?"

"Carry me," she said simply. "We need to look for an emergency hatch, but the ceiling is too high. I need you to hoist me up on your shoulders."

Kaidan gazed up at the ceiling and then back to her. "No."

Shepard had been standing up when Kaidan answered her. She froze, half crouching half standing, one hand on the wall for balance, the other palm down on the floor about to push off.

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"No," he said again. Kaidan didn't want for Shepard to be standing, let alone up on his shoulders where she would be at a higher risk of falling.

"Yeah," she said. "I heard you. Now, why the hell not?"

"I believe we established that I was the one in charge, and I ordered you to sit down."

"You can only do that when the commanding officer is down, and I am clearly not down. So, that makes me in charge, and I'm ordering you to carry me." She stood up and placed a hand on her hip for emphasis.

"No." Kaidan shut down his biotics, leaving them in darkness again. He was not going to give in no matter how much she ordered him or how angry she got. Her well-being came first.

Shepard gasped. "Are you…did you just…" She couldn't even finish her sentence. She hissed out a breath through her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. She was pouting, despite herself. Well, this was a first. No one had ever told her 'no' before.

"I don't want you getting hurt again," he said softly. "It's my fault you have a concussion. I don't want to take the chance that you might fall."

Shepard's heart melted at the sincerity of his words. Her anger quickly dissipated. She'd never had anyone worry about her like Kaidan was doing. She could feel a blush creeping into her cheeks making her extremely glad the room was dark.

"Kaidan," she said, deliberately using his name and loving how it sounded out loud instead of just in her head. "We've served together on countless missions. When have you ever let me fall?"

 

________________________________________

 

A collective "Awwww" filled the cockpit.

"This is way better than those old soap opera vids," Joker commented earning him some funny stares. "Not that I watch that sort of thing." He quickly stuffed his mouth with chips and turned back to the screen.

"Fifty credits Alenko falls for that mushy crap and lets Shepard have her way," Wrex began again.

"I don't know," Garrus answered. "Kaidan's pretty tough. You saw the way he held his ground with her. He's the only one I know that disobeyed her orders and lived to tell about it."

"True," Ashley piped in. "But we all know LT is a sucker for Shepard."

"And Shepard is a sucker for Kaidan," Tali added. "The odds look pretty even to me. It could easily go either way."

"That's the thrill of betting, Tali," Joker replied, getting back into the conversation. "My money's on Shepard."

The betting continued and, just when Joker was placing in the last few bets, a sudden noise made them all turn back to the screen.

"Shhh!" Joker whispered, though the cockpit had already gone exceptionally quiet.

Joker raised the volume and then moved the video to upload on the different screens around the cockpit. By this time, most of the crew had heard what he was doing and had returned to the _Normandy_. They were now crowding around him waiting to see what would happen next.

Joker leaned back in his chair and placed his hands on the controls in front of him. He knew Shepard was desperate to find a way out, and he wanted to be ready to stop her. He wasn't going to let them out until Shepard and Kaidan realized their true feelings for each other. They were off to a good start. Now they just needed a little help for them to finish.


	4. Chapter 4

She had said his name. Not Lieutenant, not Alenko, but Kaidan. His mind was still processing the sound of his name coming from her lips. It took all he had to restrain the flare of biotic energy that was threatening to ripple over his body. He had to take a few minutes to control himself. He didn't want for her to know the effect she had on him just by simply saying his name.

Shepard frowned at Kaidan's silence. Okaaaay. That didn't have quite the effect that she wanted it to have. Maybe he was still mad at her for taking charge. She silently huffed. Men. Always wanting to play the protector and give out orders. She was _fine_ , for God's sake. How many times did she have to tell him –

"Never."

Shepard froze. She had been so busy arguing in her own mind, she almost didn't catch the gruff whisper. Her heart sped up. Of course he had never let her fall. He was always by her side, through thick and thin. Her trust in him was implicit and absolute. She heard some shuffling and then his biotics illuminated the elevator again. He was kneeling in front of her and for one stupid moment she actually thought he was going to propose marriage. She almost laughed out loud at the thought as he motioned to his shoulders.

Kaidan waited until he was sure Shepard had settled herself on his shoulders and then stood up. She was surprisingly light. Her strong thighs pressed against the sides of his neck, and the feeling of her body on top of his sent his heart pounding. He urged himself to think about something else. He was already sweating from the rising temperature in the elevator. Having Shepard so close to him only made it worse.

"Mmm, nothing. Move a little to the right," Shepard said, her arms above her feeling for some sort of inlay in the ceiling.

He moved left, right, front, back all the while keeping his hands on her boots and trying not to think of her legs and butt resting against his chest and shoulders.

"This is bull!" Shepard cried out, wiping the sweat from her forehead. From what she could see the whole ceiling was just one big rectangle.

Kaidan felt Shepard's thighs tense in frustration. God, he didn't know how much more of this he could take. His mind was starting to wander off and imagine what he could be doing to Shepard's legs, thighs…other parts of her body.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice straining with the effort to control his thoughts. If someone had told him this morning that he would have Shepard's thighs around his neck he would have laughed in their face.

"There's nothing! No hatch, no vent, just nothing," she said. The heat was irritating her. Her tank top and pants were starting to stick to her body, and she had half a mind to just take everything off and just stay in her bra and panties. What a sight that would be. She was about to climb down from Kaidan's shoulders when the elevator lurched again. "Fuuuuu – aaaagh!"

Kaidan quickly reacted. Shepard's body slid off his left shoulder. Her hand grabbed a handful of his shirt, and he heard the material rip as he pulled her body to him. His right arm wrapped around her waist and his left automatically covered the back of her head as his legs braced themselves against the shift in her weight and the movement of the elevator.

The elevator stopped.

Holy shit, that was close. Shepard slowly opened her eyes. It took her a moment to gain her bearings. Her legs had somehow wrapped around Kaidan's waist. One arm was circled around his neck, and her other hand still clutched his shirt. She shot him a grin. He hadn't let her fall.

"Thank you," she breathed pulling her head back to look at him.

Her face was so close to his that he could feel her breath on his skin. He looked into her eyes, and Kaidan's heart nearly stopped. She was so beautiful. And she was in his arms. He tightened his hold around her waist and pressed her body to his.

Kaidan's left hand slowly moved around to cup the side of her face, and Shepard felt like time had stopped. Seconds, minutes, hours could pass and she wouldn't have known or cared. All that mattered was Kaidan and the wonderful feeling of his body against hers.

Chills erupted all over Kaidan's body. He threaded his fingers through Shepard's hair and slowly brought her face to his. His heart pounded against his chest as her breath brushed against his lips.

The elevator shifted again catching both of them off guard. Kaidan lost his footing. Shepard felt his arm squeeze even tighter around her as he fell forward.  
Kaidan grunted in pain as his knee slammed against the floor, and he managed to twist around so that he wouldn't land on top of Shepard.

Shepard followed Kaidan to the ground, her body still wrapped around his. Her heart was still beating abnormally fast first from their near kiss and then from the sudden movement of the elevator. She landed softly on top of him and let out another slow breath. Being trapped in the elevator with Kaidan was going to be the death of her.

 

________________________________________

 

"Joker!"

Joker turned around to the group, a grin forming on his face. "What?"

"You ass! They were about to kiss!" Ashley looked like she was about to smack the back of his head.

Joker rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys. A little drama never hurt anybody."

Tali poked his arm. "You're just playing with them so that you can win the bet."

"Tali, I have no control over what Shepard and Kaidan feel for each other. The bets are legitimate."

"You can't mess with the elevator anymore," Wrex grunted. "That's cheating."

Joker raised his hands in defense. "I'm not cheating. I'm just…helping…them…"

"That's cheating!" Ashley accused, crossing her arms over her chest.

Geez, these guys were really serious about their bets. Even Dr. Chakwas looked mad. Didn't they know that if it hadn't been for his great idea, Shepard and Kaidan wouldn't even be there in the first place? "Okay, fine, I'll stop messing with the – "

"What is going on here?"

The room grew quiet. Joker quickly minimized the camera image from all the screens. The crowd parted and Navigator Pressly walked into the cockpit. Everyone straightened up, even the aliens.

No one said a word.

Pressly glanced at the screens around the cockpit and then turned to the crowd. "What are you betting on this time?"

Silence.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the betting pool going around about Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko would it?" he asked. "Because we all know the rules on fraternization."

Joker resisted the urge to raise his eyebrows in case it gave away what he was really thinking. How did Pressly find out about the betting pool? The crew had specifically left him in the dark because they knew how much of a hard ass he was. He stole a glance at Chakwas. Hmmm. She _had_ been spending a lot more time up on the CIC deck…

"I want in."

Joker sat up in surprise. Did you just hear what he thought he heard? Judging by the looks around him, the rest of the crew was just as surprised as he was.

"Sir?" Joker asked skeptically.

"You heard me," Pressly turned to Joker. "Whatever you guys are betting on, I want in."


	5. Chapter 5

Shepard let out an inaudible sigh as she leaned her head back against the wall. They were sitting in darkness again on opposite sides of the elevator, each lost in their own thoughts. She couldn't believe she had almost kissed him. She was his commanding officer, for God's sake. What kind of example was she setting to the rest of the crew?

It wasn't that she wasn't attracted to Kaidan. He was a handsome, young marine who was too nice for his own good. And the man had an ass that…well, let's just say she admitted to checking him out a few times. Okay, more than a few times, but that didn't give her the right to _kiss_ him.

She could only guess what he was thinking. He would probably report her to Pressly as soon as they got off the damn elevator. Pressly would probably lecture her for two hours on the rules of fraternization before writing her up. She was _not_ looking forward to that conversation. Especially when she hadn't actually done anything. That lecture would be soooo worth it had she actually kissed Kaidan.

She almost groaned out loud. It was that kind of thinking that could get her into trouble. She had to stop thinking about kissing him. Had to stop thinking about the way his strong arms had caught her and pulled her close to him, the way his warm breath and gentle touch sent shivers up her spine when they had caressed her skin, the way his dark eyes turned intense as she had tilted her head toward him…

Shepard couldn't contain the frustrated groan that time.

"What's wrong?" Kaidan asked, immediately activating his biotics. "Is your head hurting?"

Maybe…maybe she just needed to actually kiss him in order for her to stop thinking about it. Yes, yes, that made sense. Once she kissed him, her thoughts would be completely Kaidan-free.

"Shepard?"

The mention of her name brought her mind back to the present. She had been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that Kaidan had moved to where he was now kneeling in front of her. His eyes showed concern, and his brow was furrowed as he waited for her to answer.

This was it. Now was as good a time as any. Her mind was set. She was going to kiss him.

____________________

 

Kaidan couldn't believe he had almost kissed Shepard. What the hell was he thinking? Well, that was the problem, wasn't it? He _wasn't_ thinking. He got caught up in the moment. Having Shepard in his arms with her legs wrapped around his waist made him forget pretty much everything. A bomb could have gone off outside the elevator and he wouldn't have cared.

He couldn't even begin to fathom what was going through Shepard's mind right now. She was probably disgusted with the way he had acted. He should've shown more self control.

What was it about Shepard that had him always acting like a fool in front of her? It obviously had nothing to do with how soft her skin felt when he had grazed her cheek, or the way a spark would ignite in her eyes whenever she was angry and frustrated, or that cute dimple that appeared at the corner of her mouth every time she smiled…

There he was again. Trying not to think about her made him think about her even more. If that even made any sense. Dammit, he needed to start taking control of himself again before his thoughts strayed back to Shepard.

He could do this. He could easily just sit there in the elevator and not think about her. It didn't help that he could practically feel her presence though they were on opposite sides of the elevator. Or the fact that her sweet scent kept wafting towards him.

Come on, Alenko, get it together! Just ignore Shepard. The elevator's already dark. Just pretend she's not even there –

Shepard's groan pulled him from his thoughts. Alarm set into his body as he remembered her concussion.

"What's wrong? Is your head hurting?" he said as he activated his biotics to look her over.

He quickly moved to kneel in front of her. She looked fine aside from the dark bruises that had already formed on her face. However, her eyes looked slightly unfocused. He grew worried. She hadn't answered him.

"Shepard?"

Her eyes slowly came back into focus. They had a determined gleam that Kaidan couldn't quite understand…almost like she was looking at her prey. A smile formed at the corner of her mouth and, before Kaidan had time to form any sort of coherent thought, her soft, warm mouth met his.

____________________

 

"M'outta chips," Pressly mumbled peering into the empty potato chip bag.

"It's okay. Joker's got more over here," Ashley said, opening up Joker's secret cubby hole filled with junk food galore.

Joker winced when Ashley began taking out bags of chips, marshmallows, cookies and passed them around. It had taken him forever to fill up his secret hiding place, and it was all gone in a matter of seconds. As much as it pained him to see his precious goodies go, he said nothing. He would rather share his junk food than get in trouble because of the whole elevator business.

"Nothing in here for us dextro-amino beings?" Garrus asked, peering into the cubby hole.

Joker frowned at him. "Of course I don't." Geez, what would make Garrus think he even had that dextro-whatever crap in the first place?

"Did we miss anything?" Tali asked, handing Garrus a bowl as Dr. Chakwas started passing out drinks to the rest of the crew.

"Sweet, thanks!" Garrus said, taking the bowl from Tali and digging in. "Nahfink habend."

They all turned around to Garrus.

"Uh…what?" Ashley asked, a cookie halfway up to her mouth.

Garrus swallowed the food that was still in his mouth and cleared his throat. "I said that nothing happened. Shepard and Kaidan are just sitting there in the dark."

Heads turned back to the dark screen.

"So, that's it?" Dr. Chakwas asked. "Tali and I were gone at least twenty minutes. They've just been sitting there all this time?"

"At least we think they're just sitting there," Wrex said, his arms crossed over his chest. "What makes us so sure they're not doing something else?"

Joker scoffed. "Because I have the volume up as high as it can go. If they were doing something else, we would already be…hearing…them."

Some people nodded their heads while others merely snickered at his words.

"You ruined the moment, Joker! They were about to kiss. Knowing LT, he's probably overthinking the situation and regretting ever having gotten that close to Shepard," Ashley grumbled.

Tali sighed. "Ashley's right. Now nothing's going to happen between them. And I was really looking forward to spending my winnings on a new upgrade for my omnitool."

Joker couldn't help but laugh. If anyone here was going to win it was going to be him. Hell, he should be getting paid just for coming up with the damn idea.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, Tali, it's just that…well, this _was_ my idea in the first place," Joker began. " _I'm_ the one that's going to win the bets."

"Are you saying that you're rigging the bets so that you can win?" Tali placed a hand on her hip.

Ashley gasped. "That's why you messed with the elevator!"

Joker held his hands up in defense when he noticed the crew moving in closer to him, a menacing look in their eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just hold on there, guys." Joker offered a nervous laugh. Shit. Damn Ashley and Tali and their conspiracy theories…which just happened to be true. But that was beside the point. He needed a distraction. Something – anything – that would get their minds off of killing him.

"Shhhhh!" Pressly waved a hand at them. "Something's happening. Alenko turned on his biotics again."

Joker let out a breath. Phew! That was close. He owed Kaidan a beer for getting him out of that one.

" _Shepard?_ " Kaidan's worried voice got Joker's attention. What the hell…

A collective gasp filled the cockpit before it went deadly quiet – everyone too amazed at what they had just seen to even speak. Shepard and Kaidan had just kissed.


	6. Chapter 6

_What the hell was_ that? Kaidan pulled back as if he'd been burned, falling on his butt as he looked at Shepard in utter bewilderment. He almost voiced the thought out loud. His body was glowing in blue energy as he fought to control his racing heart.

_What the hell_ was _that?_ That was the complete opposite of what was supposed to happen. The kiss was supposed to make her not think about Kaidan. Now all she could think about was pouncing on him and running her hands all over him while giving him the hottest kiss he had ever had. Ever.

"I…" she began, but Shepard, for once, was at a loss for words. How could she explain to the most logical man in the world her own logic behind her kiss? She could feel her face burning up and suddenly wished his biotics weren't lighting up the whole damn elevator.

Kaidan was still too stunned to say anything. His brain was slowly starting to function, and he finally managed to control his biotics to a dim. He certainly hadn't expected for Shepard to kiss him, and he was definitely surprised at his reaction to it. Sure, his body had responded physically to the feel of Shepard's mouth on his, but it was more than that. He had, literally, lost all his senses. For that brief moment, he couldn't think. He could just feel. And that made him nervous.

Shepard frowned at Kaidan's reaction to her kiss. A myriad of emotions ran through her head. She was upset at his reaction. Surely she wasn't that bad at kissing. I mean, the guy hadn't even given her a chance to show him how good she was. She was also very, very confused. In those quick seconds that their lips had met, she had actually seen sparks in front of her eyes. Of course, she could easily blame that on his biotics, but she could feel it in her heart that it was something else. Something she had never felt before…

________________________________________

 

"Ha! I told ya Shepard would kiss him first," Wrex called out from the corner of the cockpit.

After the initial silence, cheers had erupted in the cockpit at the sight of their two commanding officers finally kissing. Of course, that had been short-lived when they all saw that Kaidan had pulled back. Now, they were all eagerly watching the screens hoping that Kaidan would follow his heart instead of his head. Joker smirked as a lewd thought passed through his own head before finally pushing it aside.

"Ugh!" Ashley griped. "Stupid LT! Just kiss her already!" She threw her hands up in the air as she glared at the screen.

Tali just shook her head, obviously mad at not having won, while Garrus sat back contemplating what had just happened. Pressly was finishing up another bag of chips, and Dr. Chakwas crossed her arms over her chest in apparent disapproval at Kaidan's reaction.

Joker began to pass out the winnings to those who had bet on Shepard. There were some grumblings from those who had placed their faith on Kaidan. When would they ever learn? Kaidan was definitely not the kind to just let himself go. Especially in front of Shepard.

His crewmates crowded around him, making sure Joker had divided the credits evenly. Everyone was so preoccupied either counting their credits or still looking at the screen, that no one saw Engineer Adams slip past everyone and make his way downstairs to the elevator.

________________________________________

 

Shepard sighed nervously the awkward silence that had befallen the elevator. She had stopped trying to figure out a way to explain herself. Every excuse she had in her head only sounded worse if it were to be said out loud. Besides, what could she even say that wouldn't make her look like a total idiot? _Hey, Kaidan! I know I'm your commanding officer and all, but I just_ had _to kiss you to get it out of my system. It won't happen again. I promise._ Yeah right.

Kaidan ran a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out just why the hell Shepard would kiss him. She hadn't even offered any sort of explanation. She just sat there frowning at him like it was all his fault that she had decided to kiss him. Kaidan didn't know what to make of the situation. He wanted to kiss her back. Badly. Yet, at the same time, she was his commanding officer. They could get in serious trouble for fraternizing.

Shepard was getting antsy. Her head was killing her, it was like 100 degrees in the elevator, and the silence was really getting to her. She stood up to at least have _something_ to do. She glanced at the control panel on the elevator but couldn't really make sense of it. She really hoped that the station crew got the elevator working soon. She didn't think she could stand being next to Kaidan any longer than she had to. Not after everything that had already happened.

Kaidan looked up as Shepard began pacing the elevator. He should probably say something, maybe explain why he had pulled away. It wasn't that he didn't like her. Hell, he actually liked her more than he cared to admit. He was just so afraid. Afraid of breaking the regs and getting her in trouble, afraid of his growing feelings for her…afraid of hearing her rejection if he ever told her how he truly felt.

Shepard finally stopped pacing and then leaned back against the elevator wall closing her eyes. She had finally figured it out. The feeling that had coursed through her when she had met Kaidan's lips. But it couldn't be, could it? And yet, the proof was in the kiss. That brief kiss that had opened up her eyes and her heart. If only, he felt the same way about her.

He finally made up his mind to do it. Regs be damned. It was something he had to do before he could talk himself out of it. He needed to know how she felt about him and there was only one way to find out. He stood up, determined to finally show her how he felt through actions instead of through words. Shepard's eyes fluttered open as he approached her. He didn't want to give her time to think. He didn't want to give _himself_ time to think. He gently cupped her face in his hands, his fingers tucking the loose strands of hair behind her ears. Her eyes widened as she slowly realized what he was about to do. Kaidan leaned in, her sweet breath caressing his lips.

Suddenly, the lights turned on and the elevator shifted. Kaidan cursed under his breath at the timing. He moved away from Shepard as the elevator moved up a few feet and then finally screeched to a halt. The moment had passed, and there was nothing Kaidan could do to get it back.


	7. Chapter 7

Adams didn't think it was strange to see the whole crew hanging around the cockpit. By now, he was acquainted with the crew well enough to know that they were probably betting on one thing or another. He shook his head and let out a small chuckle as he made his way through the CIC deck.

He wondered what it was this time and whether it would benefit him to get in on the latest betting pool. He made his way down the stairs and decided it probably wasn't worth it. He had a feeling that Joker only started those pools because he could easily rig them. Nah, he was better off keeping his credits to himself.

Adams was puzzled when he pushed the elevator button and nothing happened. He moved around to the control panel and noticed that the power in the elevator had gone out. Well, that was odd, but not really a problem. Adams was not an excellent engineer for nothing. He knew the _Normandy_ inside and out, and it didn't take him long to get the power up and running again.

He was even more puzzled when the elevator door opened to reveal Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko. Well, to correct himself, he wasn't puzzled to see them. He had run into them more than a few times seeing as he used the elevator on a daily basis.

No, what puzzled him was the haggard state that they were in. Shepard had a swollen nose with a bruise that had already made its way around both her eyes. Alenko's shirt was torn so that the fabric hung down his front, exposing his upper body. They both looked extremely upset.

It suddenly dawned on Adams that they had been stuck in the elevator. And, from the looks of it, they had been there for quite a while. Just what the heck had they been doing in there? Adams raised an eyebrow at them.

"Well, that explains all the commotion in the cockpit."

________________________________________

 

"No! Joker, what did you do?" Ashley cried out.

Joker lifted up his hands to show everyone that he hadn't done anything. "Nothing! I swear!"

"Again? Keelah, Joker, you really don't want Kaidan to kiss Shepard do you?" Tali seemed to be glaring at Joker, though he couldn't really tell because of her mask.

"No, seriously! I didn't push anything. The elevator just started on its own." He quickly ran his hands over the controls in front of him. Everyone he knew was in the cockpit with him. And Kaidan sure as hell hadn't gotten the elevator to work. He had been too busy contemplating whether he would kiss Shepard or not. Joker swore he could almost see those wheels and cogs just working in Kaidan's head.

He left the elevator screen on the side terminals, but took it down on his own screen. His fingers flew as he brought up all the ship's cameras again. There had to be somebody that he missed. Somebody who obviously knew their way around a hacked elevator. Somebody like…

Joker let out a gasp as he brought up the screen that highlighted the front of the elevator. Adams was standing in front of the elevator as the doors finally slid open. But it wasn't Adams that Joker was looking at.

_Shit_. Shepard knew. Adams had probably told her the elevator had been rigged to stop. She knew it wasn't an accident. And she looked pissed. _Shit, shit, shit_ …

________________________________________

 

Shepard cursed under her breath as she hissed the only name that went through her mind. " _Joker!_ "

Kaidan groaned. He should've known that Joker had been up to something. He followed Shepard up the stairs, equally seething, though for a very different reason. He blew it. He had her right there in front of him, and he didn't do it. Granted, the elevator had turned on, but he had moved away from her. He couldn't even imagine what she was thinking about him now. _Dammit, Alenko, when are you just going to stop_ thinking _about it and actually do it?_

Shepard stomped up the steps to the CIC deck. Her clothes were damp with sweat, her headache had just tripled in pain, and she did not like to be played the fool. She could hear scrambling at the bow of the ship.

"Nobody move," she said calmly, standing at the end of the gangway as she crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn't yelled out the command, yet the crew had acted like she had.

Kaidan moved to stand next to Shepard. He would have laughed at the scene before him had it not been for the seriousness of the situation. Everyone had taken Shepard's command to heart.

Joker was halfway out of his seat, crutches in hand, with a look of pure terror on his face. Ashley, Garrus, and Tali stood frozen at the airlock. Dr. Chakwas and, _was that Pressly?_ , stood off to the side looking like children that had gotten caught with their hands in the cookie jar. The only one who didn't look at all concerned was Wrex who was silently laughing in his corner of the cockpit. Kaidan could clearly see tears of mirth running down the krogan's face.

Shepard slowly made her way up the gangway. It was clear, from the empty bags of junk food littered on the floor, that more crewmembers had been present in the cockpit. The only ones that hadn't escaped, however, were the ones that were probably the guiltiest.

"What the hell were you doing?" she asked, again, calmly.

For a moment, no one spoke. They all just stared at each other, looks of guilt on their faces. It was obvious to Kaidan that they were each trying to decide just what exactly to tell Shepard. Joker, unable to hold his position for much longer, sagged back down into his seat, a look of defeat replacing the guilt. And then they all spoke at once.

"It was all Joker's idea – "

"Hey! I didn't see _you_ complaining when I gave you your winnings – "

"I tried to tell him to stop, honest. I told him you would be pissed, I-I mean mad – "

"And then the betting started and…"

"I just wanted a new upgrade for my omnitool – "

Shepard held up her hand and they all fell silent. If it didn't hurt so damn much, she would probably be pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. She turned to Wrex, who had stood off to the side, shoulders still shaking in laughter.

He composed himself long enough to answer her question. "We were betting on who would get into who's pants first," he said, ignoring the glares from the other crew members.

_Wait, what?_ Kaidan thought wildly, finally glancing up at the screens around the cockpit. The surveillance cameras were on. More specifically, the surveillance camera from the elevator. So, they had seen everything. Kaidan bit back an angry retort as he realized that not only did Shepard probably think he has a coward, but the whole crew did, too.

Shepard took a moment as she thought about what Wrex had just said. That evil genius, Joker, was probably behind all of this. If only she could channel his…ingenuity, for lack of a better word…into something more productive.

"I see," she finally said. She needed to find some way to turn this whole situation around. It was embarrassing enough being rejected by Kaidan. Even more so when she realized that they had all been privy to her failed attempt to kiss him. "Well, it looks like I won."

The crewmembers exchanged confused looks. Joker sat up straight in his seat and cleared his throat. "Uh…excuse me, ma'am?"

"Yep. You were betting on who would make the first move and _I_ did so _I_ won," she said, daring for them to contradict her.

Joker shook his head. "Yeah, that's not the way this works," he started, in a small voice. "You would have to place a bet and you didn't…Commander. The rules clearly state you have to be present to place the bet."

"I was stuck in an elevator, smart ass," she retorted. "It's only fair that I get to keep the winnings because it was _us_ you were betting on in the first place. And just who's rules are you – "

"One hundred credits that I kiss Shepard right here, right now." Kaidan had no idea what had possessed him to say that. Everyone turned their heads to look at him, and he could feel his face burning up.

Joker laughed. "You can't just bet on yourself. That's against the – "

"Two hundred he wimps out," Wrex interrupted, coming forward and giving his credit chit to Joker.

The air around the cockpit became tense. The crew didn't know whether to place their own bets or not. Kaidan looked like he was going to be sick, and Shepard just stared at him, a bemused expression on her face. Suddenly, Shepard broke everyone out of their reverie.

"Two hundred," she finally said, "that he _won't_ kiss me." She looked at Kaidan, her eyes challenging him, as she handed Joker her own credit chit.

Kaidan didn't know what to say. Around him, the crew was starting to place their own bets and, much to his dismay, they were all betting that he was too much of a coward to go through with his bet. The only one who stood by Kaidan was Tali who, after handing her chit to Joker, went over to stand next to Kaidan as a sign of solidarity. Kaidan gave her a weak smile.

Shepard didn't think Kaidan had it in him to kiss her in front of everybody. He hadn't done it in the elevator when they thought they were alone, let alone in front of a lot of people. No, she highly doubted that –

Kaidan moved with lightning speed. One arm circled possessively around her waist. His other hand found its way to the back of her neck as he pressed his lips to hers. For a moment, Shepard was too stunned to react. Then, slowly, she opened her mouth invitingly. Her hands balled up what was left of the front of his shirt as his hot mouth slanted over hers. All thoughts flew out of her mind. All that mattered was Kaidan and the feel of his scorching mouth on hers.

Kaidan didn't hear the cries of surprise as he kissed Shepard. He only heard the little whimpers that Shepard was making at the back of her throat. He didn't see the looks of shock either. He only hung tighter to the woman who was now clinging on to his shirt for dear life. He lost himself in Shepard. As their tongues mated, Kaidan finally allowed himself to only _feel_. Everything, and everyone, around him became a blur. Only the woman that he held in his arms was important to him.

Finally, Kaidan regretfully brought the kiss to an end. He was afraid that if they went on any longer, he would give the crew a show they certainly hadn't bargained for. He pulled his head back enough to see the passion misted in her eyes and her lips swollen from his kiss.

Shepard had no idea where the hell she was. Kaidan's kiss had made her lose her senses. She looked into Kaidan's warm eyes and melted at his tender gaze. She moved a hand to his cheek as he brought his forehead down to rest on hers. She closed her eyes and let out a small sigh.

Sudden cheers erupted around them, startling her.

"About damn time," Wrex grunted as he moved to collect his credit chit from Joker. "Best two hundred credits I ever lost." He made his way out of the airlock seemingly to enjoy the rest of his shore leave now that the fun was over.

Kaidan continued holding on the Shepard even as he felt the crew begin to disperse around them. He vaguely heard Tali behind him going off about finally upgrading her omnitool. He leaned down to whisper in Shepard's ear. "Are you still up for dinner?"

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile. "I thought you'd never ask."


End file.
